Sunny
She was
And the shadows she cast were long
We long for her
Now the winter is here
And the long long night descends
Bright was her smile
White and bright her smile
Deep and black her skin
And we wanted in
From afar
Memories of sun
In the dusk
In response to the daily prompt Sunny
#DailyPrompt, #amwriting
I wandered lonely as a brick
That sinks and dives in stream and lake,
When all at once I was so sick,
And an awful mess I did make.
Beside the lake, beneath the trees.
Splattering my stomach in the breeze.
It must have been the bread I had
Or maybe that old Milky Way.
This puddle of sick smelt so bad
Along the margin of the bay.
Ten pints I had drunk, at a guess.
Tossing my head, I felt a mess.
The waves in my head danced, and they
Dashed my weak legs from under me.
A poet could not be so gay
As the one who stood over me.
He gazed and gazed and then in glee
Threw up and fell down next to me.
Next morn when on my couch I lay
In vacant and in pensive mood.
I swore I’d give up drink that day.
And swore some more, it was quite rude.
But soon, once more, the cider spills.
I’ll sleep again with daffodils.
In response to the daily prompt Dash
#DailyPrompt, #amwriting
Water traces curves
Of showered, moist skin, fingers
Follow down to play
Buff is a box
An almost fraternity
They try to squeeze you in
At any cost.
Some of us
Obviously won’t fit
So are discarded
Straight away
We are the ones
To watch
We are the ones
That bring the change
We are the ones
To fear
Magical detonations
Stars dying
Dust flying
Seeding us
Not all explosions
Bring death
Catapults and boiled sweets
Sailing boats and jam jars
Watching tadpoles
Playing in the woods
Hunting newts
Swings and roundabouts
Wistful thinking
For the days
That never were
I am a ship
Crowded into the harbour wall
Anchored sound
And safe
But I can see the sea
Beyond the gap
Calling
Lulling
The storms come
The harbour shields
But still, I am tossed
And battered by
Uncaring waves
The chain is strained
The anchor holds
For now
So many storms I have seen
How many more
Before the chain breaks
Setting me free
Lost at sea
Sailing unfettered
Unmoored
Always descending, never ascending.
Moving downwards, moving down.
I can’t get used to this feeling
Moving downwards, moving down.
Is it really like this? What are we doing?
Do we really want this?
Is this the thing to be?
The chains that pull the valves and the levers,
That drive the steam through pipes of dreams.
Dream worlds falling, morning calling,
Pull the chains on, shoulder the yoke.
Down to business. Down to labour.
Moving downwards, moving down.
I don’t like this, what am I doing?
I don’t really want this, what is to be?
Enter the shaft that takes us downwards.
The light is dimming as our dreams descend
Calm your qualms
It’s all change
It’s all good
Still
The trembling
Still
Kept in deep dark fog
With tantalising beacons
But we remain lost
In all the bluster and noise
There is lust
Hidden
Moxie not talent
Seems to be an effective
Qualification
Tailor-made suits
Tailor-made holidays
Tailor-made experiences
Tailor-made careers
Tailor-made relationships
Tailor-made friends
Tailor-made lives
You know
No matter the tailor
Clothes just don’t fit me well
Consider me
The scruff
And happy to be
In the few idle moments of the day
The few
The very few
I think
I dream
Big plans
And small
How I can achieve my goals
How I will relax tonight
A film?
A beer?
Finish my masterpiece
Find fame and fortune
And then the moment’s gone
Reality bites
Decisions are taken away
And I am the whim of everyone else again
Maybe
I should stop thinking
Stop dreaming
So my dreams
Are no longer buried
In disappointment
The caper is up
The plot has escaped
From all those lords and ladies
In their ermine capes
We know their game
Time for revolution
Is that what we’ll do?
Or just carry on the same?
The red sails are rising
In the grey of the dawn
The grey spume is parting
Before the forlorn
Drawing out passion
Promising dreams
To the young and the lost
Into the sea they stream
The red sails are gone
Over the blue
Long is the draught
Of its bitter brew
The red sails are parting
Tearing apart
Lovers and mothers
From the vein of their hearts
The red sails are empty
Of all that they took
The decks all wiped bare
Dreams all forsook
The red sails are cursed
My mother’s onshore
But none will set sail
To settle the score
The secret passenger
Scampers around
Just looking for a snack
Innocent, unaware
Of the death that he carries
Why aren’t we railing?
Why aren’t we mad?
Why do we sit in silence?
In apathy so sad.
Is the sickle blunted?
The hammer dropped and cracked?
Has the guillotine lost its edge?
Has liberty backtracked?
The peasants have moved on
From field to factory to desk.
Is it beautiful progress
Or captivity grotesque
So day after day
after day after day.
We struggle and toil
No time to play.
We hand over our freedom
We hand over our cash.
While the fat cats sleep
on their growing stash.
Where is the spirit of liberty?
The hero in the square?
The lone horse trodden woman.
Defanged are those who care.
We all have those moments
That we cringe to recall
Should we try to wipe them?
Or are they signposts to us all?
Time for illusion
For magic to be cast
For the world to fade
And dreams to ascend
A
Blank piece of paper
Has
Limitless potential
To become
A plane
A swan
A hat
Or an idle doodle
Or a poem of grief
Or love
Or rage
A protest
A plea
A stiff complaint
A soft seduction
Or
The start
Of a whole new world
We should meddle
With the peddling of their lies
We should obscure
All the surety of their spies
We should extrapolate
What they obfuscate
To find truth
We should hold hands
In bands and lands
Of support
The suits stand ready
To relieve you of your cash
Thus I am relieved
Is life just spin the bottle
As the bottle maker laughs
Or a game of hopscotch
Lines drawn in shifting sand
Children’s games and distractions
Carried over time
Methods and controllers
Programming sublime
Ugly the scar
We leave upon this earth
As we puncture
And drill, and frack and crack
A long, searing scar
If this is what marks
The passage of our lives
What then will mark
Our passing?
The red taper burns
Slow, slow, slow
Till the orange flame gives up
And its wispy soul
Rises
Blue and grey
Finally black
The greater the volume
Of opinion
The more stress upon the foundation
The higher the lofty morals
The shakier the ivory tower
Oh how the papers wail
How the timelines howl
The mad feeding frenzy
Of the trolls
Who rule
Hot metal smell
And petrol
Shining chrome
And deep green metallic
The Triumph roars
Spit and polish
Iron and wash
Put out the bins
Face awash
Head off to work
Stuck in a jam
Ground to a halt
In the program
Morally sound
Ethically cool
Questioning news
Nobody’s fool
But
Still
The Dragon
Stirs
Just like school
The non-uniform times
Are when our true colours show
So what does that say
About school
About life
Goodnight. Sleep tight. Love you with all my heart.
One snuggled cosy in bed.
One in the earth.
Mother and Father
Forever hurt.
In response to the daily prompt Bury
#DailyPrompt, #amwriting
I am drawn
By slightly parted lips
Swaying hips
Twinkling eyes
A smile
I am drawn
In response to the daily prompt Magnet
#DailyPrompt, #amwriting
Change is the only constant
One of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite books – Dune by Frank Herbert.
In times of stress and trouble, it helps to remember that all things pass, even the things that darken our days. So savour the moments that count, enjoy them.
My biggest problem is that while intellectually I accept that, try to live that, in my heart, I crave conformity and security. Safety and predictability.
A dangerous and seductive train of thought that I am finding harder and harder to resist. Getting old maybe?
Well, it’s time to shake things up. I will be starting a new job in a few weeks. Life is forcing changes on me whether I want it or not. Time to wake up, embrace the change and revel in the storms.
In response to the daily prompt Temporary
#DailyPrompt, #amwriting
The town where I work has – in the past – been the host of Asylum seekers – it is also a port of entry for visitors from abroad. It’s fair to say that it has seen its fair share of social tension. Where I worked before that and lived for a while – Dover was even worse. The flashpoint of many a protest and news story.
In the nearly 15 years of living and working in this area – of working in the immigration sector – I have never seen – first hand any direct racial abuse.
Today – my first day back at work after Brexit – I saw it twice. Twice I saw people just shouting at other people who looked foreign – to go home.
To all those people who voted to get their country back – I am sorry – we seem to have mislaid it. Instead, we have imported the seeds of Nazi Germany.
Let’s all grow up a bit. Even while the politicians are backstabbing and playing chess with our lives – let’s show them we can do better.
Driving home from work tonight I ended up behind a Range Rover Evoque
This was my view.
All I could think was – it looks like a Stormtroopers arse.
Quickly followed by Oh God! I am turning into Jeremy Clarkson!
A while ago – and again I have lost any links or references to it – I saw a documentary on how the subconscious can take over and solve tricky problems for you. I think it was a BBC Horizon episode but could be wrong.
It described how many great thinkers often had similar habits – like going for a walk at midday, after which the ideas would come. For many years this was attributed to perhaps the health benefits of such activities, the increase in endorphins perhaps vitalizing the brain. Perhaps that is a part of it.
Recent research has shown though that certain parts of the brain that are normally dormant start to become active under these sorts of circumstances. When someone has been struggling with a problem or a puzzle and then their thoughts are diverted onto something else – something simpler and less taxing on the mind.
Its seem that while your conscious brain is trying to solve a problem your subconscious can’t or won’t go near it. Leave the problem alone and it gets it grubby hands on it. And unhindered by all the distractions thrown at the conscious mind does a better job if it.
Anyway – it seems like something I kind of knew at some level but had never vocalised or thought about in concrete terms. After watching the program though I began to see it happening more and more – or maybe I am now biased to see that!
Today was a prime example. All last week I have been struggling with a problem at work – I won’t bore you with details, it involved a very very complex SQL query that worked fine in one situation but not in another – with no logical answer. I had tried all kinds of solutions and approaches all week with no success. To be fair to myself there was an awful lot else going on as well so I was not 100% focused on it. But if I had been I don’t think it would have made a difference. I was kind of blocked from the answer.
So this weekend I forgot all about it and spend some quality time with the wife and kids. It was Rachel’s birthday and since I have spent so much extra time at work lately I was determined not to do any this weekend.
I went to bed Sunday night – not with dread but knowing that my task for Monday was to hunker and down and crack this particular nut. I woke up Monday morning and the answer – which should have been obvious – in my head. It just popped in there.
I rushed to work eager to try it out, now dreading the possibility that it might not work. It did! That is a good start to the week!
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “We Can Be Taught!.”
I had a few good teachers but not many. And those that tried were wading against a tide of social programming. So school was not that productive for me. I left with few qualifications and no direction.
I drifted – pushed by financial necessity into work before I could begin to dream about what I might want from life.
So who were my best teachers?
They were my friends. They didn’t sit me down and lecture me they did two vital things.
They believed in me.
They believed in themselves and acted on that belief.
Watching them follow their dreams whatever the outcome – taught me the bets lesson in my life. To take control of my life and start steering my own destiny.
The best teachers are like the best writers – they show they don’t tell
So it seems the moment I signed up for NaNoWriMo the pressure from all sides of my life takes off like a rocket.
Work has become more and more stressful. To the point of the web site having major problems last thing Friday night. At this point I was so sick with stress I decided it would have to wait until Monday morning. I walked out and decided to try to forget everything for the weekend.
This was not easy, as I said work stress is building up and up, relentlessly. Getting tired of it now.
On top of that the pressure from our adoption is also growing – all the social workers and health visitors want a mass meeting with us – we are naturally stressing about this as we don’t know what it is about. The annoying this is that we feel we have made great strides in the last few weeks and the little one if definitely feeling settled, safe and his behaviour has improved dramatically. The problem is we don’t think they are seeing it.
And then there are financial strains, cars breaking down, things going wrong and family illnesses. All piling on and on.
So this weekend I though sod it all. Lets just concentrate on family time.
And we had a great time. On Saturday we took both boys to a local children’s centre and they had a great time. They found some bikes and played together lovely with them. Then Alexander went to one of his classmates birthday parties. It was in a cake shop, making cakes.
Although he could have stayed we decided that L would just cause chaos in such a small place with flour and eggs! So I took him down to the beach and we spent a great couple of hours together, the best behaved he has ever been. While Alexander had a great time making “Alien” fair cakes and eating marshmallows dipped in a chocolate fountain, L and I threw pebbles in the sea, raced the tide and sat an ate lollies while watching the boats. It was bliss.
On Sunday we went for a walk in the country side around the village. Again the kids were remarkably well-behaved, collecting leaves and twigs for a Halloween picture project mummy has planned.
I won’t say I wasn’t stressed – it was still there bubbling under but time with the kids and my wife has helped.
So despite all that – because of all that and to spite all that – I decided to plough ahead with NaNoWriMo. I uploaded the cover (see below) and synopsis. Using Scrivener I have made a very rough plan. Writing down some very rough scenes, mostly in order though a few may change. I think my next stage of planning will be to describe for each character how they change between each scene. So I get a little journey plan for each of them as a guide.
I still think there an extra dimension to my idea missing, but not going to worry about that at present. It will only be a first draft – I can add more to it later if I still think it needs it once i have finished.
Onwards
Cold Sanctuary by Scott Bailey
Synopsis:
Orphaned, wrenched from their home, can Gabriel look after his adopted brother? Can he find a voice to stand up for himself?
In an alien world, unwelcomed and lost, all they have is each other. They must endure a clash of cultures, adapting to a radically new life and dealing with deep-seated grief. Gabriel struggles to keep the promise to his parents to look after the brother he has waited for all his life whilst coming to terms with his new surroundings.
Can such a young mind take all the demands? And, when they are suddenly separated, can he find his brother again?
Their searches for answers, for each other and to fill the holes in their hearts leads them on paths of rebellion and revenge.
Today has been a little strange.
Stresses have been building up. Money worries, over work, trying to get the kids up and to school on time, family illnesses, friends in turmoil.
All the normal stuff, just got to me a bit more today for some reason, and has done all week.
So when I left work and saw a long traffic jam I surprised myself with my reaction. Instead of letting it rile me I shrugged and said to myself – OK let’s use the opportunity. So I turned off down a country lane to try to find a short cut across country.
A short cut it was not – a pleasant drive it was. Over some rolling hills with stunning views and down through winding valleys and dark, magical woods. I even got surprised by a juvenile deer jumping out into the road and running, for quite some time, in front of me.
It wasn’t just the pleasantness of the drive that made it such a nice change though – it was the change itself. The fact it was out of routine. So I am carrying on with it by taking time out from study and housework tonight to read something purely trivial.
Gladiator by Philip Wylie
This is nothing to do with the film. Let me explain. I have developed a passion for vintage – even ancient science fiction. I can’t explain why – there is something about it. Maybe the less cynical outlook – though some are still quite dark. Maybe the fact that they were not so aware of the physical limits of the universe so their imaginations were freer. They always seem to me more human than some more modern attempts. I think also I like to see where things have come from.
This one appeals to me on two levels though. It describes the story of a man – who as a result of experiments done by his father – is imbued with great power. His skin is invulnerable and he can leap over buildings, run faster than a train. At one point he asks “is he a man of iron rather than flesh”. In another scene, as a young boy, he lifts a wagon off a man who has been trapped under the axle. His father guides him to be good and responsible with his power but to keep them hidden. All sounding a bit familiar?
Published originally in 1930 – many see this as a huge influence on Superman. I will let you know my own thoughts when I have finished it.
The other delight with this book was it was free. You can get it from Project Gutenberg. Click here is you are interested.
And that was another nice surprise – Last time I looked on the Gutenberg site they had plenty but it was all in plain text form. Now they offer it in all kinds of e-book formats. And furthermore – you can get it delivered direct to your favoured cloud storage – Google Drive, SkyDrive etc.
I can foresee a lot of time browsing their site.
By the way. If anyone else is interested in old Sci-Fi here are a few I have enjoyed – most are free on Amazon.
The Coming Race – by Edward Bulwer
Trips to the Moon – Lucian of Samosata (very ancient – contemporary with Homer).
A bit more modern and not free – but I cannot recommend enough is
Last and First Men by Olaf Stapledon. A very original book – with not a single character in it.
Maybe my taste is just weird.
It’s not a doom laden message. In fact a small celebration. I am getting close to the end of my poem a day for a year challenge! To be honest – it’s already done. I had a bad night a few weeks ago, couldn’t sleep, all the small niggles of life piling up on me chafing. So I sat up and did the last twenty or so. They are all just waiting to be posted one after another.
But that begs the question – what next?
Well I don’t want to stop writing that’s for sure. But I feel a bit like I freewheeling now. I need to step it up a notch, push myself a bit more. However I also need to keep it realistic and achievable. With the poems, though they ruminate in my head for days, weeks even, when I come to write them down its usually fairly quick. Hence I have achieved several goals. First to get something posted each day, but second to put myself back in a state of mind where my creative juices are running all the time. I have to take into account time constraints – especially now that we have a new little one settling in.
Incidentally – I am beginning to see other benefits from this project – that I had hoped for. For a few years now I have really been struggling in certain areas, particularly at work, trying to grasp new programming concepts and methodologies. Even though some of it was very simple. It was getting me down, I was worried I had lost the capacity to learn.
My push to get back writing was, in part, in fear that I could lose the ability to do even that (not that I am claiming a special ability but you see what I mean). I wondered if I might never write again.
Anyway – over the past few days – I have started on a another new project at work (Drawing using HTML5 canvas and JavaScript). It’s all new to me – but – for the first time in ages it’s flowing. I am getting it, and getting it quickly. I feel like a corner has turned there and I think it’s because I am waking up parts of my brain that have been asleep too long. Who knows?
So what next?
My plan now is to write longer pieces less often. However – having the push of a time-table also helped, although I was writing for me I had at the beginning an imaginary audience – now a small but real audience who were expecting each day’s post.
So here is my idea. I will write one long piece each week. Four or five a month. Furthermore they will be as follows.
1. A short story
2. A film review
3. A book review
4. Just general ramblings.
5 (when needed) another of any of the above.
I will still try to post something each day perhaps more like a journal now, something that happened that day, and every now and then some more poetry.
We will see how it goes.
Oh – and I am also planning to re edit my novel and push on the marketing for that. Plus I will gather together the poems from the year and publish those in an e-book too!
Finally – I am going to make an effort to actually be more social on this social media! I have spent so much time writing on here that I have engaged in much reading or commenting. That is something I need to do more now. I need to feedback and the fertility of ideas bouncing around. Very often something someone says to you – or a particular phrase in somebody’s work can set you off down a completely different train of thought, or give you the kick you need when stuck. That is the beauty of blogging that I have discovered.
So the soldier walks alone
beneath the
starry night
He has no aim but distance
from the bloody fight
But the war it still pursues him
snapping at his heels
He slips into the forest deep
beyond those broken hills
O glory days
Those glory days
They’ve shattered
and they fade
They only left a rumour
A shadow
where they laid
So the sword is silenced
with a deep and lasting chill
In his heart, the war goes on
the beating never still
Behind the hallowed orders
that laid so many low
Is revealed the empty truth
the sickest, cruellest blow
O glory days
Those glory days
They’re gone
they never were
So the soldier walks away
from guilt
that he defers
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Crisis everyday
When did this start?
When will normality
Return
Is this the price
Of years of hard work
Maybe I should just sweep roads
Noble simplicity
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
The information superhighway
It is a heavy weight
Data, redundancy
Processes
Alerts
Objectification
Frames
Presentations and investors
Response
Time
High availability
Validity
Technical, radical, practical, logical
Balancing load
Stresses
Testing
Testing
Test
Craving
Simplicity
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Seven years
They say it’s wool
Well I have my little lamb
To keep me warm
And hope to hold her
Beyond diamond!
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Every buzz and chime
On the phone
Is a worry
Something has gone down
Something is wrong
Another demand
On my time and my brain
Which are both drained
Something
Must change
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Master of words
By words mastered
Many a politician can claim
Those that abuse the power
By which they rose
Will be bitten by the beast they tamed
Such is the reality
We choose to believe
But the truth we know is worse
Where corruption rules
It protects its own
Mostly, the corrupt rule
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Feel as sick as a dog
Too much work not enough play
Dulling the senses
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
So I have now got more obstacles to my poem a day challenge.
Firstly work! Its gone into overdrive. The only thankful thing is that the poems are a good tool for stress relief!
Secondly, eye infections. Seem to have flared up so finding it difficult to look at a screen for long – paper and pen are no better.
Thirdly – THE LAST DARK! it’s out! Its been delivered to my kindle and as a fan – I have the hard copy on its way too. So you may not hear too much from me until I have finished it.
The Last Dark by Stephen Donaldson
Bound to serve
The master that we crave
Enduring the pain
Not struggling in the ties
That bind
Taking the punishment
Utter submission
Belittled
Stripped
Of dignity
All for the reward
The release
The coin
Get the previous ones here
http://wp.me/P3kG6h-bb and get my début novel Mankind Limited
Scott Andrew Bailey - Author 